I don’t have anything to write about. Considering I have thoughts upon thoughts in my head today, I feel it a tragedy that I can’t put any of them down on paper. I am mentally constipated.
I sit here, watching one roommate play madden, smelling the chicken he is cooking, and watching my other roommate watch youtube videos. I think of friends who have surely forgotten about me and those who I am sure to forget in the near future. I miss a few people, some in particular I haven’t spoken to in months, I guess, one, in particular, that I wish I could talk to, just spend a little time with and have it like shit never changed. But everything has changed. Emotions haven’t run rampant through my head like this in a long while and, sadly, I wish they hadn’t popped up. Music definitely was the precursor to these emotions. I am listening to ‘Winner Takes it All’ by Abba, pretty much on repeat. Haha, I know, nobody that knows me would ever suspect that. I guess my best kept secret would be the music I listen to. Something about it is so soothing, yet it brings back memories of good times and love lost. “Winner takes it all, the loser is left standing small.”No matter how life goes, and how these emotions affect me, I believe I would go about everything the same exact way. I guess this is what blogging really is, not putting up stories and poems and songs, but putting down real life emotions. It’s funny… I don’t see anyone wanting to read something like this. Like playing connect the dots, yet none of the connections are numbered, so you go around aimlessly, connecting what you think the authors intentions were. That’s what this blog is, and in a sense, what my life is. God has a plan for me, he has everything set in place, I just have to connect the dots in order. If every dot was a major decision it’d make a whole lot of sense. Getting from point A to point B. I just hope the ‘death dot’ isn’t connected any time soon… There is a whole lot of life left for me to live, a whole lot more mistakes to be made, a whole lot more people to meet to love and to find. A lot more to do. I just have to go and do it.